Congratulations! You’re engaged. If you’re here, you’re probably wondering what your next steps are in all of this. It’s no secret that being newly engaged comes with lots of responsibilities, ones you probably didn’t even know you had. Here’s what you do after you get engaged.

I’ve talked to a few people in my decade of wedding photography experience, done a few wedding things and I like to think that I kind of know what’s going on when you first get engaged. What are your next steps? I’m going to tell you!

First and foremost, enjoy your engagement for a few weeks.

I know, it’s a tough thing to do when you are so excited about being engaged to be married. But this is your opportunity to enjoy the easy things about being engaged. Someone wants to spend the rest of their life with you and that’s kind of a big deal, amiright? More than likely, you have around 6-12 months to plan and you’ll get it done even if you take a few weeks to enjoy your engagement.

Have the big conversations straight away.

There are a few big choices that need to be discussed and even though they can be a little sticky when you’ve never planned a wedding before, you should discuss the number of people who will attend, where it will be held and your budget for the event. Those are big conversations to have but they are important. Wedding size. Budget. Location. -or- if you are set on eloping or having a destination wedding, your priorities might look more like Location. Guests Invited. Budget.

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Be considerate of your partner’s wants and needs too.

This might sound like an obvious one but there are a lot of details that go into wedding planning and even if your brand new fiancé isn’t super detail oriented or you think he or she probably doesn’t care about the fine details and who comes and how the day goes, they just might care more than you think. The best thing to do is to just ask and don’t assume you know. This works in marriage too 😉

Weddings are expensive.

The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will overcome the sticker shock when you begin searching for your perfect vendors. There are most certainly ways to save money on your wedding day but some things you just can’t budge on. Photographer. Videographer. Wedding Planner. DJ. Your film and photo team is an obvious one because it’s the only thing you actually get to take from your wedding day and your DJ is a super important aspect if you’re having a large reception (or any kind of reception) so that he or she can keep the party running smoothly and poppin’ (yes, I just said that). A wedding planner is someone who actually helps you get through the chaos of wedding planning, keeps you on track and allows you the opportunity to live in the moment and enjoy your engagement AND your wedding day.

Engagement sessions can set the tone for wedding day.

For you and for your photographer. If you’re planning a local wedding, definitely snag an engagement session with your chosen wedding photographer. This is a good practice run for the wedding day AND you get beautiful images and a fun date night too. For your photographer, it’s the perfect time to get to know her/him and vice versa. It’s a nice icebreaker and a chance for your photographer to learn about you guys so that she/he can properly tell your story on your wedding day. This isn’t a pass or fail experience as you do not need an engagement session, but I say, why not?

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You don’t have to ask or take everyone’s opinion.

Let’s face it. Everyone has an opinion about everything. If you get too caught up in what everyone else wants for you, you’ll lose sight of what you really want and what is important to you. This is YOUR day and you should spend it having the time of your life, whatever that means for you. Keep in mind, also, that vendor recommendations will come in big waves if you ask, and sometimes people are just recommending people because they know them, and not because they’ve actually worked with them.

Do not let your wedding planning consume you.

Another tough one but so important to be conscious about. It is so easy to get sucked into wedding planning, for it to take your every free minute, your every weekend and all of your thoughts. It is an important day but it’s one you want to appreciate too. This usually requires you to take a step back, take a deep breath and recognize that the next year is full of more than one joyful thing.

I hope this little article full of tips for newly engaged couples helps you find your way through this process. As always, I’m here for you!

Ashley Stein