Most of us know how important it is to love our significant other better by learning their love language and getting really good at showing them love through that language. If you have no idea what love languages are, you can find the book right here. It’s a game changer and a must read.
The 5 love languages has changed my perspective on how we love all people, and I realize that loving someone is simplified by following the love languages. It isn’t just simply healthy in a marriage or relationship, it’s healthy in all relationships and friendships, sometimes even professional relationships in a service based business, which is why I’m presenting this to you today.
I’m going to give you a gift idea for your client based upon their love language. I adopted the idea of learning my client’s love language through the booking process (I’m a photographer in Ohio) so that when it was time to show them some extra love and care, I would know how to best serve them and I would know exactly how they felt loved the best.
Why? Picture this:
My love language is acts of service. It’s why I feel the most loved when my husband does the dishes or completes a chore that is usually mine. Oftentimes during wedding season, he will clean the house a little extra so that I come home to a super clean house after a long day of work and let me tell you, there is absolutely nothing that makes me feel loved more than this.
My husband has always been the type to bring me flowers on a random occasion and I imagine it’s because society has made us all believe that flowers is a sign of love. And for some people, it is. For me, although wildly appreciated, gifts of any kind aren’t neccesary for me to feel loved.
Do I appreciate the thought so much? Yes.
Do I realize that someone loves me because they’ve gone out of their way to bring me flowers? Yes.
The point is, my husband can just as easily make me feel loved, a kind of love that I actually long for, by saving his money and doing the dishes. Get it? Okay, moving on.
I believe it’s the same when gifting our clients. Are all gestures appreciated? I’m sure. But can we take it a step further and love them in the ways they need it? Absolutely. Below is an explanation of how you can love your client after learning their love language with an action step.
I. Receiving Gifts
The easiest one. Gifts is a love language that is pretty darn manageable when it comes to loving our clients. In fact, it’s pretty common for a creative or small business to show their clients love and care by gifting them a box of local goods wrapped in fluff and sent straight to their doorstep. If your client’s love language is gifts and you’re already gifting them something like this, you’re good to go. A-ok.
- Action Step: Send a gift box to their doorstep.
II. Acts of Service
It’s kind of hard to love your client when you can’t do their dishes for them, right? Well, right. But acts of services goes far beyond doing someone’s dishes. This is a chance for you to go above and beyond when you are serving them throughout your time with them. Don’t hesitate to check in, ask if there’s anything you can do to make their lives easier, and even if they don’t take you up on your offer (they might not like asking or accepting help), the simple fact that you asked to is enough for someone whose love language is acts of service.
- Action Step: Go above and beyond when serving your client.
III. Words of Affirmation
Use your words, sis. You might absolutely love everything about your client, but if you don’t tell your client whose love language is words of affirmation what you love about them, it really doesn’t matter. For example, a client of mine might be planning a wedding that she’s hired me to photograph. She opted out of a wedding planner because she wanted to plan it herself. She’s basically killing it, and she’s kept her head up through the chaos every single time. It’s worth recognizing her for that by sending a random text on a Tuesday afternoon just because, or writing a note about how wonderful it has been to serve her because she is just so wonderful. Make sense? Ok, start writing your letters of affirmation now.
- Action Step: Send a handwritten letter to your client.
IV. Quality Time
This can come in one of two ways. A person whose love language is quality time needs just that: quality time. The best way to love your client in this language is to either give them quality time or to encourage it. What? Yeah, so that means invite your client to coffee one day and spend a lunch hour having conversation. If this isn’t your thing, gift them a gift card so that your client can spend quality time with a loved one. Let them know why you sent it and they’re sure to feel loved and cared for by you.
- Action Step: Take your client to coffee over their lunch break.
V. Physical Touch
You’re probably thinking, “but how?” and while I get the concern, it’s quite easy to show love by physical touch even if it isn’t your lover you’re trying to care for, ha! This client would definitely be the client who hugs hello and goodbye, or cares about a good handshake when you meet but like quality time, sending them an opportunity that encourages physical touch with their partner would be taking it one step further. A couples massage, perhaps?
- Action Step: Gift your client a couples massage.
Conclusion: I’ve been asked many times before, “how do I love someone in that way without being intrusive” or “how do I even ask someone what their love language is?” and the ways in which you do this is simple: explain why you are asking and then just ask. Chances are, they’re going to be impressed by your enthusiasm to serve them better and it’s just one more thing that separates you from the rest. It doesn’t have to be a big thing and it can be done tastefully and simply. It doesn’t have to be complicated.
Having trouble coming up with ideas for your client? Comment below and I’ll brainstorm with you!
xo, Ashley Stein